ever wondered where do we really come from?
since i was a child, i always wondered where do i come from ?
and its when i looked into the night skies full of stars that i felt really belonged .
strange as it seems, but i always thought of the stars as home .
home where i've travelled far away from ... of many journeys . i was always out of the "group" ... i was always alone , or rather i always stand out from many others .
perhaps more stubborn and rebellious , i like to challenge the adults with many difficult questions where they find it difficult to reply .
i dont play with girls . i play with boys. i like to go to the fields and look for grasshoppers, to the drains for frogs and tadpoles and i love playing in the rains .
when grandpa was not in town, i would always stay inside my own room . and i would only go out to the living room when meal time is near . . i just dont like the adults that i live with .
so to them, i am one strange kid .
i talk to trees and stones, plants and animals when i am with them and adults find it ^(*&(**()(_ that i insist that they talked back to me . so one day, grandma suggested bringing me to the temple of Mother Goddess , and to let me be "adopted" by the Mother Goddess. so that i can learn to be obedient again . one of the other reasons " i always fall sick/see "dirty" stuffs. In those days, "dirty" stuffs are spirits and dead entities .
I suppose all the adults dont really understand me at all . Except grandpa . he knew . and he can see what i see so he understands .
but i wondered, why didnt he try to explain it to the other adults . perhaps its not meant to be .
after grandpa's death , theres a lag of time where i cant remembered what has happened in-between the years ..... as if theres a vaccum of air , when i tried to recall what had happened then ..... i just cant seemed to remembered .....
i also stopped talking to trees and stones and often ignored my guides/angels and totem animals too ....
it was only when i was back to Singapore again and in the year the harmonic concordance night when i attended the drumming meditation in Whatever cafe that suddenly everything came back to me again . i started talking to the trees and stones , spirits and guides, whatever that came my way , i started to say "Hi" to them ..... and i guess thats how i stumbled upon my way back ..
and as the years goes by and by ..... i learned more from different "teachers" that came into my life , though i was always alone and always moving on , life was never the same again .
And if you were to ask me if i were to have the chance to change everything again , would i do it ?
My answer is "N0" .
Without the years of what i've been going through, the journeys undertaken, the experiences learnt and the hardships earned, i wouldnt be who i am or where i am now .
So i am ever thankful and grateful to all my guides, angels, elves and faeries, totem animals and angels whos always on my way, by my side , taking care of me in ways that they can, even when i ignored them , they are always there ... so i thank you with all my heart ^__^
thank you for letting me remember .
who i am and what my gifts are .
i thank you .
and i will continue the journey of learning , to heal, to help, to give, to love ....
*hugzs*
